So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
