Me. At least after what I've been through.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
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