I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Randomize
