i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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