we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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