So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
