I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
