So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
My vagina just clenched in fear
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
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