i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Are we still banned from the library?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
