Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I would ride that face into the sunset
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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