In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
