i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I would fuck him just for his dog
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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