I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
