eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
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