we have officially lost it.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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