the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So much Jack, so little girl.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
