Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
