im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
