I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
