bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Randomize
