We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
