I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize