I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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