Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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