called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Randomize
