Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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