What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
