I got chris browned last night
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
