I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
