I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
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