i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
