she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
