My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I have fence marks all over my body
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
