some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
