I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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