a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
