it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
