Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
