you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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