so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They took my balls.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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