handjob tips. give me some.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
My liver just had a heart attack.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
