I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
