Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
