We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
