Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Randomize
