I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
