It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Found your dick twin last night
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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