i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
