Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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