Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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