if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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