I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
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