eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
