I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize