Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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