I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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