My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
