So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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