I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Randomize
