shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
