i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
