well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
