so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Randomize
