It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
